Welcome to Dhofar, The Home Of Frankincense and Mirth

Hey, how's it goin'? Pretty hot out today, wasn't it.

So this Muslim guy walks into a bar. And because of that he burns in hell for the rest of eternity.

Did you ever notice that Saudi women have a slightly bigger eyeslit than Yemeni girls? No, seriously! Check it out some time.

Hey, what do you get when you cross a Jew and a Christian? Whoa, with all their money and guns I don't want either one of them mad at me.

These days when I tell people I'm from Dhofar, they all think I'm saying Darfur. Guys: It's the difference between incense and incensed. Those Sudanese bros should learn to chill out.

Don't you think that it's, like, totally gay when infidels say that we Muslims are homophobic? If you want my opinion, they're all just a bunch of fuckin' queers. But if that's your thing, man. Just remember what they say about being in bed with a bedouin: It's always in tents!

Okay, management wants me to remind you that there's a zero drink maximum, so go crazy guys. Next week I'll be appearing at the Laughing Camel in Riyadh. Until then don't steal anything: I don't want to have to be trying to hear one hand clapping.

Insh'allah, dudes.